The triumphant return

HI. Yep, it's me. I'm back...and I'm not offering any excuses for my absence. I confess that I have a mixed bag of emotions right now. A touch of shame, a bit of embarrassment, a lot of disappointment, and maybe a pinch of sheepishness all combine to create a big messy recipe for discouragement. A little over a year ago I committed to running a half marathon...13 miles...by Labor Day of 2010. My determination held out for a while. And although I have some great explanations (note: I did not say "Excuses") for my dwindling commitment, I have to own up to the fact that I simply didn't do it. I didn't REALLY think I could do it. I was not convinced. And to prove it, I failed. But, there is redemption. Thank goodness. I'm not going to commit to a half marathon. I might not commit to anything, to be honest. I'm at a very special "place" in my life right now. I just moved my family all the way across the country (East Coast to the West Coast) for 1 YEAR. I have dreams of returning to the East Coast svelte, healthy, and rockin' a "new me" body. I haven't set a weight loss goal or a real solid fitness goal. I just have a vision of the person I would like to (and realistically can) be. Anything that gets me closer to THAT person, is going to be an accomplishment.

So today I went running. That's right. I laced back up my running shoes and jumped on the treadmill. The whole time I was running, I was thinking about THIS blog. And feeling ashamed about the fact that I haven't kept it up....or accomplished the original goal....and I was almost too embarrassed to post anything today. But then I thought, I'm certainly NOT the only one out there like this. I have too many friends who talk about running and/or getting healthy....give it a go...and then, for whatever reason, they stop and get distracted from their goal. Why is that? I don't know. For me, it is the slowness of the process. I get so discouraged when I eat well and exercise regularly and DON'T loose weight or see results OR even worse, when I gain weigh. I know, everyone says, "...muscle weighs more then fat". Whatever. I find myself thinking that if all this work isn't going to pay off, then I'm not going to do it! Probably not the best approach, right? Maybe my muscles are trading places with my fat cells, but the scale doesn't seem to be paying attention to that and despite all of my study and understanding and education, the number of the scale DOES matter. I can't get away from that. I'm not that person. For me, the number of the scale indicates progress. So, I want a lower number. That's my goal: a lower number. I don't know how low that number is going to get, but I have a general idea. For now, LOWER is as good as it's gonna get in the goal setting department. Simple. Sweet. Brief.

Oh, and just so you know....I am going to keep running. And maybe I'll run in some sort of race sometime. I'm sure I'll blog about it, if I do. I'm also gonna try some funky new classes....who knows, maybe belly dancing, zumba, or hot yoga will inspire me. If you've tried something and LOVED it, by all means, share. I'm sure I will. Let's be triumphant together.